WHISPERS OF INSANITY

2003-08-21T16:56:00.000-04:00

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
- Chinese Proverb

I remember hearing about people who have walked from one coast to the other. I always wondered how they could do it. The journey was so long and hard to do on foot, how could they stand it?

All that time alone, or with perfect strangers, would drive me insane. I have to have familiarity, there's no way around it. Whenever I do something new, it has to be with someone I know, preferably one of my closest friends. I just can't stand being alone with things I don't know or understand.

To walk that far, you also have to have an extreme amount of patience. When it comes to things involving physical strength, I have little to none. I prefer using the brain to killing the feet.

2003-08-21T16:47:00.000-04:00

Original monologue for Adv Theater:

Whispers of Insanity

Ever since I was a child I could hear voices. Not regular voices that everyone can hear though. They were in my head, and I was the only one that knew they were there.

Then one day I made the mistake of telling them... The others who couldn't hear...

They thought I was crazy. Said hearing voices in your head was a "sure sign of insanity" and had to be "dealt with accordingly".

Dealt with? Oh they dealt with it all right. They stuck me in an institution to deal with the problem of their perfect little girl going nuts.

Do you have any idea what it's like, being in this place? You're all alone with people who hate you for something you can't control. They have all the power and you have nothing. Nothing at all.

They'd spend hours trying to convince me that I wasn't really hearing voices... It was all in my head, they'd say. "Once you admit it, it'll all go away."

But you see, it wasn't just my brain getting a few wires crossed. I was actually hearing the thoughts of those around me.

It was scary at times, once I realized what those terrible voices were. Before they had just been little whispers floating around in my head, like bits of a conversation from a television program you remember at odd moments. None of them were focused on a single thought, merely pulled in all directions. But then, when I was taken away, they got louder and more violent.

See, if you get put with people who really are crazy, after a while they start rubbing off on you. You start thinking that you might be crazy too. Those people's thoughts are the worst of all! Such a jumbled mess; the purest sense of chaos.

They began invading my mind, trying to take it over, make it their own. For a while, I fought back. I struggled against the darkness that pressed against my soul, threatening to consume me.

Finally, I gave up. You would too, if your parents called you a freak and left you for dead.

Now I'm here, in this little white room. They said I was becoming a danger to myself and others around me, so they put me in here. Just a cold white room. A place to put things you want to forget about.

Are you going to forget about me too? It doesn't really matter anymore...

Those voices - the crazy ones, they're so loud now. I can barely hear my own voice. It's tiny now. A little whisper of insanity all my own.

It's getting dark here, and very cold.

Who knows? Maybe I am crazy after all...

08.19.03

2003-05-18T02:45:00.000-04:00

I'm extremely tired, so this is gonna be brief.

I'm engulfed in the world of fanfiction. If anyone is brave enough to venture in, here's my profile on FanFiction.Net:

http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=57007

Don't forget to review! *hopeful smile*

2003-05-13T20:46:00.000-04:00

Oh yes. The fan art issue. As of this moment we are unable to host fan art on the blog. We'd have to pay to acquire the upgrade to be able to do so, and even then we'd probably have to go through the horrors of HTML. Believe me, it's a very painful process. Extremely confusing.

I'm going to steer away from the whole sexuality issue for the moment. "Great Expectations" needs to be read, and I don't want to be able to start something that I won't be able to finish at the moment. Plus, Yaten would probably make more snide remarks (that'd he'd get hit for the next day) and then I'd have to seriously consider yanking his promotion. =) That's what boss people do.

2003-05-13T20:30:00.000-04:00

I've been reading the "Battle Royale" novel, and I swear that world is SCREWY. Japan is part of a dictatorship, ruled by "The Great Dictator" and America is considered an "enemy state." Also, rock is against the law.

Now, that's just wrong.

2003-05-12T16:07:00.000-04:00

Yay! Hopefully I'll have a new administrator soon to join in the fun! I keep asking people, but no one's signed up yet! RARGH!

On another note - "X2 : X-Men United". A sequel that was actually as good - no, BETTER, than the first movie. Very rarely in history has that ever happened. The only times I can remember have been the great trilogies: "Star Wars", "Indiana Jones", and "Lord of the Rings". All of which are some of my all-time favorites.

More about movies later....

2003-05-11T01:55:00.000-04:00

Okay, just a quick note since I don't have much time. I'll most likely go very in-depth with this later...

It unnerves me to no end how in the anime "Sailor Moon" the relationship between Haruka and Michiru (Uranus and Neptune) is altered from lovers to cousins. Just what right did those stupid people at DiC and Pioneer (the companies who released the anime in English) have to change something so perfect?! They apparently couldn't stand to have the public exposed to homosexuality more than absolutely possible.

I hate how people can be like that! If you love someone, there's nothing you can do about it. Some people just seem to think that you should forsake the opportunity of love because the person you care for is of the same sex as you. That is so wrong. I am a full supporter of both homosexuality and heterosexuality, but a better way to put that is that I deeply support love.

2003-05-10T02:56:00.000-04:00

I have recently discovered the wonder that is Japanese horror. My main point of obsession: The Ringu saga. It physically pains me to see how much the American movie industry screwed it up. So far I've seen Ringu and Ring 2. A friend just bought Ring 0 : Birthday, so I'll be seeing that soon as well.

Also, I've read parts of the novel Ringu by Koji Suzuki. Great book. REALLY great book. It's just really sad that only the first of the trilogy has been translated into English. I wanna read them all!!!!

What I am now wondering is: How are they going to pull off a decent sequel to the screwed-up American version? They've already changed the plot so much that some things are going to be completely inpossible to include. Oh yeah, and the director. Apparently the guy who did movie 1 isn't going to do movie 2. I've heard rumors that Wes Craven is being considered. *shudder*

Does our society really have to stoop so low as to take things from other contries and manipulate the general public to believe we came up with it first? All but a handful of people I've talked too knew the truth about the movies, and the ones that did probably learned it from me! How sad are we?

Another point while on the topic of Japanese horror. The manga for Uzumaki (Spiral) is fantastic! The movie is rather odd, the director using a technique that is not usually seen. But what really bugs me is that there are rumors America is going to remake this cult horror film as well! *screams pulling out hair*

*punches air* But there is one thing they WILL NOT touch! Battle Royale! It's a story about how in the future (but not sci-fi futire) kids rebel against authority. They skip school whenever the want to, create riots in the streets, and basically become a general meance to society. So, to try to control the problem, the Japanese government creates the Battle Royale program. Every year a randomly selected class of ninth graders are taken to a deserted area and given an assignment. They are to kill each other using the weapons they find in the provided packs (some get guns, others trash lids and ornamental fans) until only one person is left alive. If more than one person is left at the end of the third day, everyone dies.

For a while it was considered releasing Battle Royale over here in America, but due to things that have happened in recent years, the industry backed out of the deal. The English version of the novel the movie is based on is currently out on sale over here (though I have sadly not read it yet) and the translated manga should be out the second week of May! YAY!

"Battle Royale" is a great movie, though at times it can be a bit gory. Also, the director of the first movie began production of "Battle Royale 2", though he died before filming started. Now his son is making the movie which is scheduled for release this summer in Japan. Apparently the survivors of the program are going to take matters into their own hands by staging an all-out war in the streets of downtown Tokyo! I can't wait to see it!